Liars, Farters, and Movie Watchers

I am almost positive in my assumption that all writers love a good bookstore. It’s somewhere I can get lost in for hours. It would sound great if I went on about how much I loved finding new voices and stories that inspire me. However, alas, this is not necessarily the case. Sure I love studying the publishers and what is hot with them at the moment and yes I do like to find new authors I can’t live without reading but that isn’t the only thing I look forward to when I go to the book store. The humor lurking in the isles can be quite distracting when looking for a new book in which to become obsessed. Here are the top three things I watch for and thoroughly enjoy

3. The woman who acts like she is shopping for her daughter: Since the frenzy over Stephanie Meyers Twilight most of my friends (not you Monica) now read YA books. However, it is funny to me that for some reason when they are at the bookstore they feel the need to hide this as if it is something in which to be embarrassed. They walk down the YA isle and if they think they are alone they then get engrossed in reading blurbs from books in their quest to find their next read. Then one person breaks into their personal space and comes to shop along those same shelves and BAM they are talking out loud and discussing what they think their daughter might like…as if anyone is listening or cares.

2. The “shouldn’t have eaten that” shopper: This one makes me laugh (and yes I realize this is childish but I do write YA books for a reason). The shopper who has normally been drug here by a significant other or friend (and yes this is typically a male however I am not stereotyping just calling it like I see it). They find an isle that is secluded and let it rip. Most of the time they don’t realize what section they are in because they just wanted a little privacy. The most comical times I have come upon this were once when the man had NO idea that five women were just on the other side of the next isle looking at cookbooks and second when I happened to walk up on this taking place and the man grabbed a book off the shelf to look as if he was doing something other than just leaking toxins into the air. The fact the book in his hands was something along the lines of how to sexually please your partner and it was upside down made it priceless when he realized what he was holding and jammed it back on the shelf with a very red face and ran off.

  1. The person who tells someone how great a book is when it is obvious they only watched the movie: This one cracks me up! I love it when someone begins to tell you or someone else how great a book is and within the first two sentences you know they didn’t read that book. Recently I had gone to pick up Prisoner of Azkaban for my son. I was not sure if it was going to be too much for his ten year old mind to remember so that he could take an Accelerated Reader test on it at school so I was flipping through the pages. I had read it but it had been awhile. A man comes up to me and tells me I will love the book. He then proceeds to tell me all about how they have these little talking shrunken heads in this “Potter Book” that are hilarious. I let him go on in his ignorance and bit back a smile.

Gotta love book stores.