Today I have officially been a published author for 1 year. So much has happened this year it is hard to take it all in, at times. When Breathe released last May I really didn’t expect people to buy it but then I think that most new authors feel this way. But people did buy it and many loved it and then it had its haters too. I developed a lot of thick skin through that time. I actually use to read my bad reviews back then. I took a lot of the ones I agreed with into account when I wrote The Vincent Boys. I no longer read the bad reviews. I decided to just write what I wanted to read and let those that love it enjoy it and those that hate it… well, hate it. Everyone has an opinion and they have a right to share it. Needless to say I’ve grown as an author this past year. My skin is very thick. I don’t get upset over bad reviews. And I actually have readers! One of those readers has done several art pieces for my books. Just yesterday she posted a picture she did for Breathe and it’s one year anniversary. I loved it and wanted to share-
Art-By-Maryam
Now in celebration of Breathe‘s one year anniversary I’ve rewritten a scene from Breathe in Jax point-of-view. For those who haven’t read the book, Breathe is told completely in Sadie’s point-of-view. I’ve written a few Jax scenes over the past year but it has been awhile since I posted the last one. So, I wrote a completely new one today. It is where Jax sings to Sadie on the beach…
This had been a completely selfish decision. Although it was serving it’s purpose, the fear that I’d gone too far was there in the back of my mind. Reminding me that this was not safe. Sadie’s life could completely blow up after tonight. But I’d wanted to do this. Making sure everyone in this small town knew Sadie White was taken had been more important than anything else at the moment. I hadn’t thought through the repercussions of coming here tonight.
“So, is Star seeing anyone? They only ever show her with you.” A guy sitting across the fire from us asked as he leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees in wait of my answer. His gaze shifted from me to Sadie quickly and I could see the interest in his eyes. He wasn’t interested in Star. He was trying to call me out in front of Sadie. The girl beside him shot an annoyed frown in Sadie’s direction and confirmed what I’d already picked up on. He was interested and Sadie of course was completely clueless. She had no idea the affect she had on guys.
Sadie cleared her throat to cover up a small chuckle and I turned my attention from the curious crowd we’d gathered to look down at the reason I was here tonight. Sadie smiled up at me with an amused grin before taking a bite of the hot dog I’d roasted her over the fire.
“I’m not sure. I don’t exactly keep tabs on Star’s love life,” I replied not taking my eyes off Sadie.
More questions were asked but I didn’t hear them. I’d answered enough questions for the night. Sitting among her peers and making sure every guy here knew Sadie was mine had been accomplished. Now, I wanted her alone. No more questions about my music, Star, or personal life.
I stood up and reached for Sadie’s hand. “If you’ll excuse us, I want to go dance with Sadie.”
Her big blue eyes flashed a surprised smile up at me as I pulled her close against my side before leading her to a secluded moonlit section of the beach.
I squatted down and picked up one of Sadie’ small feet and slipped off one of those heels that had been causing me to salivate all night. Her legs were long enough without the help of the heels but damn if they weren’t hot.
After I had her barefoot, I placed her shoes beside mine. Glancing back at the D.J. who was watching me closely waiting on my cue I gave him a nod to let him know I was ready for that request now.
Instantly familiar music began pouring through the speakers and I pulled Sadie in my arms. I’d been singing this song at every venue I performed at over the past year but I’d never much cared for it. This had been one of those songs that didn’t really click with me, until now. Leaning down so I was closer to Sadie’s ear I placed a small kiss on her temple then began to sing,
“Let me hold you close just for tonight.
When you’re not in my arms, nothing seems right.
Just to see your smile lights up my darkest night.
So, baby, please dance with me in the moonlight.”
This song would never be the same for me. I leaned back and tilted Sadie’s face up so I could look into those eyes that had enraptured me from the first moment I saw them.
“Your touch is my only addiction.
Your heartbeat takes my breath away.
You’ll break my heart if you don’t stay.
Your whispers sing to me each night, and your laugh is my only sun.
“Hold me and whisper you love me.
me and tell me there’s no world without you beside me.
Hold me, I need you to guide me. I can’t live without you.
Hold me and whisper you love me.
Hold me and tell me there’s no world without you beside me.
Hold me, I need you to guide me.”
The emotion in her eyes as I gazed down at her literally took my breath away. How was I ever going to leave her? How would I ever sing this song again without her there, close beside me?
“I’ve never understood those words until tonight. I sang them, but I didn’t write them. I didn’t want to record the song, but I lost the battle. Now, when I sing those words, I’ll have a face to put behind them.” The tightness in my chest surprised me but I knew why it was there. “I just hope I’m able to get through those words when you’re a thousand miles away.”
Sadie didn’t say a word. She blinked several times and the unshed tears in her eyes glistened in the moonlight. Making myself miserable thinking about it was one thing but I hated myself for doing this to her. For now, I could hold on to her and reassure myself she was mine. I had her here in my arms. Pulling her tightly against me, Sadie came willingly and laid her head against my chest. The ache that had tightened inside eased some but the fear… it was still there.