Chapter One
October 24, 2019
Boston, Massachusetts
I’d always heard that nothing compared to New England in the fall. This was my first experience at seeing it first-hand. My life in New England had been in the summers- when the private school I attended was closed and my mother ran off to Europe. Summers were the best part of my year. I didn’t harbor any bitterness that my mother had no time for me in the summer. She’d given me my summers with Gran.
“It’s stunning, isn’t it?” Griff asked.
I simply nodded. I wasn’t sure words could describe it. Leaves of every color it seemed covered the cobbled streets. Looking from the beauty around us, I inhaled the brisk fall air. Griff chuckled and I glanced up at him. He was equally stunning. From the first moment I’d met him, I’d been struck by how handsome he was. He was almost six-feet-tall and had a lean build from running. Griff ran in marathons, but I couldn’t run down the driveway without having to stop and catch my breath. His dark hair was always styled perfectly. My hair was unruly with curls I struggled to contain, and I envied his smooth dark locks. Hazel eyes that could only be described as dreamy looked down at me. Griff Stafford hadn’t been my first love, but he’d been my savior, even if he didn’t realize it. I adored him.
“Come on, I can’t wait until you see this place.” Griff grabbed my hand and led me to the front door of the apartment building. Griff had left Nashville two months ago to get settled in before his classes started. I’d had packing and other things to set into place. Now that we had both graduated from Vanderbilt University, our lives were different, busier. Having time for us was a luxury we didn’t get anymore.
Griff had four years of medical school ahead of him. I had my Gran’s house. My bachelor’s degree in Art History would hopefully help me find a job at an art museum. Moving to my Gran’s house in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, had never been something I considered until recently. I had done some research on art museums close to Portsmouth and I was even willing to drive to Boston for a job, if I could find one. Working in Boston meant Griff and I could have lunch together. It would be perfect and worth the commute.
While I’d been in Nashville packing up my life and trying to stay clear of my mother, Griff had been in Boston. He was happy here and I knew moving to Gran’s house was the best decision for our relationship. I didn’t see how we’d see each other much if I’d stayed in Nashville. Not that I wanted to stay there. It was just the memories connected to my time at Gran’s were complicated and I didn’t know if going back, six years later, would feel like it was just yesterday or if it had been enough time to heal.
The building had been here a long time, but it was well-kept. There were only ten apartments, and the structure had been refurbished from a boarding house built in 1875. Griff flashed me a grin over his shoulder. “Luckily we’re on the third floor and not the fifth.”
At each landing, there were three doors. Griff had told me on the phone that there was only one bathroom on each floor. I wasn’t sure I’d like that very much. The pro was that the majority of the other residents in the building were students at Ashurst Medical Center, like Griff and his roommate. They were unlikely to have any loud parties in the building to disturb their studies. I still wouldn’t want to share a bathroom with them though.
Griff opened the door to his apartment and motioned for me to go inside. I loved it instantly. The apartment had the charm of early last century. Even with furnishings chosen by Griff and his roommate, the place had a warm character to it. Much like my Gran’s house did in Portsmouth. The difference here was the “city posh” feel to the location.
“This is the main living area. My room is this way,” Griff said grinning. He knew I loved it here without asking what I thought. I followed him across the room to the first door on the left. “Chet’s room is over there. His cousin is coming today to stay for a week or so off and on. They’re going to share the room, which should work out fine since he has a bigger room. Mine is the smaller one, but my rent is a hundred less a month than his.”
His door opened and the simplicity of it was perfect. There was a full-size bed in the far-right corner up against the wall. His large overstuffed and faded blue chair sat in the other corner. It had been his grandfather’s chair and he was attached to it. The chair had been the only furniture he moved here. The rest he’d bought when he arrived. This was my first time seeing it; although I’d asked him to send pictures, he never got around to it.
One single floor lamp stood beside his chair. A black three-drawer dresser sat against the left wall with a black framed mirror hung above it. Beside that were book shelves full of his textbooks and other medical journals. All he needed was an area rug and I made a note to buy him one. The floors would be cold soon.
“This is amazing,” I said, tilting my head to look up at him. He smiled then bent his head to kiss me. He was happy here and I was relieved. I felt as if he’d chosen Boston because of the proximity to my Gran’s house. I hadn’t been sure what to do with her house, but the idea of selling it had been too painful for me to consider. When he had chosen Boston for med school, I’d made my decision easily enough.
Now, I got to live in it and start my life in New England. Far enough away from my mother and her insanity to find some peace. No one knew me here; I wasn’t known as the famous country singer, Denver Copeland’s, daughter like I was in Nashville. I could just be me.
The door to the apartment opened and a male voice began talking. I hadn’t met Chet yet and knew little about him. Griff had been so busy since moving here, our talking had been limited.
“Room’s to the right. Your bed is the one on the left,” I heard him say. He wasn’t alone.
“You get to meet both my roommates,” Griff said, looking pleased.
Then he spoke… The other one… the new temporary roommate. Time slowed and I stood there unable to move. Breathing seemed difficult. My heart was the only thing moving quickly… too quickly. Butterflies erupted in my stomach and although I knew it wasn’t true. It wasn’t him. The voice… it was so similar. Deeper now but the tone, the accent, it was the same. I was going to hyperventilate if I didn’t focus on getting myself under control. It was just a voice. Nothing more. Emotions churned in my chest, overwhelming me, and I still couldn’t move.
Griff’s hand found mine and I heard him say, “Come on,” as if my world hadn’t just been tossed into a churning sea of memories, both good and bad. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes briefly. It had been six summers since I’d seen him. Six years since our lives changed without notice. Why did Creed Sullivan still affect me so much? It wasn’t fair that the sound of a voice could do this to me.
I needed to see the stranger’s face and I knew my emotions would stop going crazy. I just needed reassurance that it wasn’t Creed. Once all I’d wanted was to see Creed Sullivan again. I had wanted to ask him why, have him hold me, promise me he still loved me but that Sailor was no longer. The one thing I had overcome was loving Creed.
That reassurance I had hoped for never came because the stranger wasn’t a stranger.
When my eyes found his face, it felt as if time stopped. All the memories were back and the last moment I had been held by him slapped me in the face. Years of counseling seemed pointless. I was going to fall apart. Jerking my gaze from him, needing to find composure and quickly before Griff noticed, I looked at the other man in the room. The one I didn’t recognize. The face that wasn’t in my dreams and nightmares. The face that didn’t haunt me.
“Hey! I didn’t know you were here and this must be Sailor,” a guy with a headful of blonde curls and bright green eyes said as he stepped forward and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Sailor. I’m Chet. I’ve heard a lot about you, and Griff wasn’t exaggerating. You’re as lovely as he said you were.”
Keeping my gaze on Chet and forcing a smile was difficult. The heat from the other set of eyes in the room felt as if they were burning a hole through my head. How did we do this? What did we say? I managed to form words that made sense. “Thank you, it’s nice to meet you too. I feel as if I know you already.” I lied. Griff didn’t talk about Chet a lot. He hadn’t talked about much at all. Most of our calls had been short.
Chet then nodded his head toward the other body in the room. Although, I didn’t need an introduction. “This is Creed Sullivan, my cousin. Creed, this is my roommate, Griff Stafford, and his girlfriend, Sailor Copeland.”
Griff stepped forward and held out his hand to Creed. “Nice to meet you,” he said, and once again, my body reacted to the sound of his voice.
“Likewise,” Creed said.
I placed another smile on my face that I didn’t feel and shifted my focus from my boyfriend to the one boy I thought I’d love forever, Creed Elijah Sullivan. His gaze was already on me and he gave me a smile that seemed almost mocking. It wasn’t genuine. He held out his hand to me and I stared at it a moment before slipping my hand in his.
He gave me a firm handshake. “Pleasure to meet you as well, Sailor.” And that was it. He dropped my hand and stepped back. His dark hair was longer than I’d ever seen it and tucked behind his ears. He gave me a nod then walked off toward his new bedroom.
Chet chuckled and shook his head. “Creed is a moody musician. You’ll get used to him,” he said.
“No worries,” Griff replied. “I’ve given Sailor the tour so we are headed to get some dinner. Want me to grab you anything? Or Creed?”
“No thanks, I’ve got a date with Chelsea, the girl from the coffee shop I told you about. Don’t worry about Creed,” he paused and shrugged, “he will go out when he’s ready.”
I looked back at the bedroom door Creed had closed behind him. He was taller, his jaw was more defined and there was stubble on it, his voice was deeper. Six years had changed both of us. I may look older now, but he knew me. He could pretend that he didn’t and if that was what he needed to do then fine, but Creed knew me. Too much had happened between us for him to forget my name.
I’d already lived through him shutting me out completely as if it were my fault Cora was dead. I never understood why he’d turned on me and refused to speak to me. Both our worlds had changed the day we found Cora. It hadn’t been our fault. No one had any idea the demons she had been battling. She’d not told us. Never mentioned it. Yet, Creed had refused to speak to me or acknowledge my existence as if Cora’s overdose was my fault. I’d lived with that pain until one day I was different. I wasn’t that girl anymore. He couldn’t still hurt me. Time hadn’t healed everything I realized. My heart wasn’t fully recovered. The ache was there, stretching and waking up from it being lodged down as deep as I could suppress it.
COMING DECEMBER 14,2020
I just ordered the book. I can’t wait to read it.